


i was looking for redemption (but i found love)

by DisasterLesbean



Category: The L Word: Generation Q (TV)
Genre: F/F, Follows Until Ep. 6, Getting Together, Gigi’s POV, Introspection, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:09:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterLesbean/pseuds/DisasterLesbean
Summary: Gigi is an emotional person, that’s just how she is. She overreacts sometimes- a lot of the times, she can’t help it. So if some part of her wants Alice in on this for real, family and not just with Nat and her, she’s not going to question it. No, she’s going to fight for it.
Relationships: Gigi/Alice Pieszecki, Natalie "Nat" Bailey/Alice Pieszecki, Natalie "Nat" Bailey/Gigi/Alice Pieszecki, Natalie Bailey/Gigi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	i was looking for redemption (but i found love)

**Author's Note:**

> I love their relationship so far and I wasn’t expecting tlwgq to show up with something this amazing. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t go to shit before the season is over and even if it does, I’m gonna ignore it and keeping writing for them

Gigi didn’t like Alice. She didn’t. She’s the woman dating her wife...ex-wife. She’s butting into Gigi’s family, she’s being what Gigi should be. It makes something ugly curl in her stomach. She knows it’s her fault, she’s the one who cheated. 

She’s a smart person and she always thinks before she acts. That’s a lie, she’s impulsive to the point of ruin. She does realize she’s being impulsive when she does something at least, it just doesn’t stop her. She is careful with Nat, knowing she needs to be on her good side to see her kids. Nat isn’t a bad person, no, she’s the best. She wouldn’t purposefully keep Eli and Olive from her. Rather, she wouldn’t keep Gigi from them. Nat knows better than most the importance of not keeping her from children who love her and are still growing up. She always thinks ahead, even when cheating.

Every button undone, every flash of skin, Nat was in her head. She knew what she was doing. She knew she was fucking up as she did it. She told herself a million lies, reasons upon reasons why it was okay. None of it was. The worst thing, the absolute worst, was just how much she hurt her family. Cheating didn’t just hurt Nat, it hurt her kids. They don’t understand why she isn’t around like she used to be, why Nat and her can hardly stand to be in a room together. 

Then comes Alice. Alice who Nat is including in Gigi’s children’s lives. Alice who is a mess on wheels and has the motherly instinct of a chainsaw. She doesn’t like Alice.

She really didn’t expect that all to change how it did.

She does everything for her family. She would do anything for her family. 

She still doesn’t expect Nat to reach out but Gigi doesn’t hesitate to accept her invitation. Friends, she says. 

“It was Alice’s idea.” Nat rolls her eyes with _that_ smile on her face. That easy loving smile Gigi used to be the recipient of. 

“I suppose I should thank her. This has been fun.” Gigi offers, burying her hands deeper in her pockets. The wind blows Nat’s hair as they walk side by side and Gigi’s heart pangs. 

Nat’s expression turns conflicted. She’s having fun but her anger is still there, the hurt, if Gigi has to guess. “I wouldn’t thank her too quick.” Nat says in warning. Gigi nods, knowing their current attempts at friendship are still fragile. 

Beyond the resentment of seeing Alice in her place, she doesn’t think much of the woman. She made a career out of gossip. She tracks her friends’ sexual daliances and Gigi saw one of her shows about vaginal steaming so she thinks she knows all she needs to know about Alice. 

Which is why Gigi is so surprised when she likes Alice.

Alice’s jokes and general attitude end up drawing smiles from Gigi. That’s how it feels at first. She doesn’t want to like Alice but somehow she always ends up making Gigi smile. She was pretending at first, putting up a good front. No way Nat would put up with her being openly rude to Alice. It takes less time than Gigi would like for her smiles to become genuine.

It’s that woman at Alice’s work that starts it in Gigi’s head. Family, it bounces around in her head. It’s her greatest desire, her deepest hope. She just wants her family and here this woman is declaring them one. 

She catches Nat’s eyes over Alice’s shoulder at the bar and she sees it. That flicker of want burning in her gaze, desire boiling beneath the surface. She also noticed Alice’s jealousy earlier. She knows what all that means. She was the one who cheated once upon a time, after all. Not that she thinks Nat is ready to cheat, she does love Alice. Gigi can see that. She does know that Nat’s already crossed boundaries in her head, already thought about how Gigi would feel in that moment.

She sees Alice take notice of Nat’s distraction and thinks, fuck, she messed up Nat’s life again.

She didn’t want that. Yes, she wants Nat. She wants it all back. She doesn’t want to be the reason Alice gets pissed at Nat and breaks up with her. Nat would blame Gigi and they’d be back to square one. More importantly, she doesn’t want Nat hurt again. She can admit part of her doesn’t want Alice hurt either. 

That’s why when Alice calls her over, something shifts.

She didn’t expect the turn that night would take. 

Skin against skin, three distinct voices, the feel of Alice’s fingers tight in her hair, Nat’s lips on her body once again. She feels like she’s flying.

She comes crashing down the next day. 

Her head feels like it’s splitting and Nat is already freaking out. Alice on the other hand handles it all with an unprecedented grace. She thought Alice would be more thrown off. There’s something about the sight of a hungover Alice eating cake and acting like this is all normal that makes Gigi want to laugh but she’s too busy trying to survive the world’s worst fucking headache to bother. 

Alice is like the voice of reason throughout the following days. As they sort through the mess she’s solid, she doesn't waver. She hates how it makes her feel.

Part of her only agrees to it all to get closer to Nat and her kids. She wants her family and this is the best way to get them back. She finds herself growing closer to Alice with every day.

She wonders why it slips out so easily. “We tell her, Alice is family.” Alice’s quick refusal and the way her face scrunches has Gigi accepting it easily enough. It doesn’t mean she stops thinking about it. She might have thought it was just to solidify them if it didn’t hurt a bit how quick Alice refuted it. If they’re a unit then it won’t be as easy for her to be sidelined again but that’s not it. Not all of it.

She likes the way Alice already knows to split their order just as much as Gigi likes that she knows to be clear about no almonds. The way they all interact as one and individually, it feels right. 

Gigi is an emotional person, that’s just how she is. She overreacts sometimes- a lot of the times, she can’t help it. So if some part of her wants Alice in on this for real, family and not just with Nat and her, she’s not going to question it. No, she’s going to fight for it. 

Alice’s looks, the way she takes her hand in the theater, it makes her want to pull her in for a kiss. The way she’s obviously trying with Olive and Eli despite not being fully prepared. It’s like being maternal goes against her grain but she’s trying and Gigi can’t help but feel a wave of affection for her. 

Nat and her snip and fight, of course they do. Gigi would be more worried if they didn’t. Nat wants her and she is likely beating herself over it. It hurts Nat won’t actually talk to her about it but she understands they’re just not there yet. 

She gets pissed. She’s always been an aggressive driver but with Nat and Alice talking about how they need to be secretive, something burns in her. It wasn’t easy coming out of the closet for the first time, she’ll be damned if she puts herself back in it. Alice tries to mediate, talking them both down. Gigi can admit it’s nice to have Alice stand up for her, oddly enough she also loves when Alice stands up for Nat. 

She kind of adores Alice for her ability to navigate the two of them. 

She kisses Alice because she wants to, she kisses Alice because she’s slowly coming to care about her, Nat rolls her eyes. Admittedly, it looks like she’s doing it to piss Nat off. Maybe she is, in some part, it’s just not the only reason. 

She’s already driving when her phone rings. She accepts it and puts it through her console. 

“Gigi?”

Honestly, who else was Nat trying to call? She bites that comment down. “Yes?”

Nat breathes out, loud enough Gigi can hear it over the line. “Just fucking ask her so we can go to bed.” Gigi hears Alice’s impatient voice in the background.

“Come back?” Come back, not come home. Gigi tries to not let it hurt her, she fails.

“You sure?” Why does she ask that? Stupid! She just doesn’t want anyone making sacrifices or doing anything they don’t want to do.

“Yeah. Kids wrote us notes...all three of us.” Gigi closes her eyes at the redlight, letting it sink in. 

“I’ll be there soon.” She hangs up and turns her car around. 

That’s when it really sets in, when it solidifies. 

She was a fool to think it wasn’t going to end up like this.

This isn’t some part of her or a compromise on what she wants. This is it, exactly it. 

Alice and Nat, the kids, all together in one house. She knows she’s going to work towards this. It’s too early yet for her to fully move in but she’s going to be around every chance she can, sleepover every night possible. She wants Nat, the kids, and Alice. 

The next morning Alice actually volunteered to take the kids, leaving Nat and her alone. They both stand around awkwardly, still so much unsaid. She can tell Nat has things to say so she waits.

“Are you just doing this to get me back?”

“No.” She doesn’t even have to think about it. Yes, she’s happy she is with Nat again but that isn't the goal. She didn’t plan this, any of it.

“You’re not just planning this out to try and break Alice and me up?” Nat pushes, a hint of anger in her voice.

“Would you break up with her for me?” The words are out before she can stop them. She doesn’t want Nat to break up with Alice but she’s curious if she would.

Nat looks absolutely livid. “No! See I knew-”

“I was just asking! It seemed like you thought you would. Is that why you’re so angry?”

“I’m angry because you cheated and now you’re back. Somehow, I always end up losing. You cheat, you get our friends and the sympathy, everyone likes you better. You get it all and I end up with nothing and now Alice-” Nat stops, eyes cutting away.

“Oh. You’re worried about Alice getting along with me.”

“She didn’t even hesitate to start this and the way the two of you act…”

“Nat, she’s in love with you. Shouldn’t this be something you bring up to her? This isn’t my fault.”

“Isn’t it?”

“It can’t all be my fault, Nat. Not everything. I shouldn’t have cheated. I’ve apologized a million times and I’ll keep apologizing, I’ll prove myself and earn your trust back but I can’t take all the blame. That’s not how this will work, we won’t make it if you can’t even stand me.” 

Nat’s eyes are watery and Gigi curses herself. She hates hurting people she cares about. She hates that it seems that’s all she does. “You want it to work?” Gigi knows Nat’s game well enough, questions and more questions. 

“More than anything. I want the three of us, not just us. I didn’t plan this, it just happened. We all fell together and next thing you know, it’s more than just a drunk threesome. Probably Alice’s fault, honestly. I’m just going with it, following it wherever it leads us. I like this and I think we have a shot.” 

Nat laughs and for the first time since they all had sex, a tension leaves Nat’s shoulders. “She got to you too, huh?” 

“Oh, now you’re okay with me liking her?” Gigi can feel her eyebrow skyrocket at Nat’s whiplash inducing behavior.

“Don’t question my motives.” Nat leans into her and kisses her.

“Where the fuck is she, anyways?” 

“She stopped to pick up breakfast for us, check your texts once in a while.” 

Gigi laughs, her heart light and smile wide. 

Alice comes back with breakfast burritos. “You guys suck.” Alice practically pouts at their equally messy hair. She doesn’t look seriously bothered which puts Gigi at ease.

Gigi offers Alice her hand, pulling her towards them on the couch.


End file.
